Where I was.

 Where were you on September 11, 2001?  It's the tragedy of our generation.  It's a day that will be talked about every year for a very long time because it changed a lot of things about our country, our airlines, and the way we looked at a whole culture.

Let me just preface this post with I do not expect you to read this.  It's more for me to look back and reflect on what I remember from that day 10 years ago.

I was in 7th grade, in Mrs. Jackson's english class.  It was just a regular beautiful September day, up to 8:46 am.  My mom (who taught at my middle school) was on hall duty outside and was on the phone with a parent.  They were talking about how her son needed to move classes when the mother started screaming.  My mom didn't know what was going on and thought she was freaking out about moving classes when in actuality she was watching the news and saw that the first plane had hit the world trade center.  My mom pulled me out of class and told me that someone blown up the world trade center.  My dad was supposed to be flying home from Kentucky that day but she couldn't get in touch with him at the moment.  We later found that they had either missed their flight or couldn't get on once every flight was grounded, and were driving back.  I didn't understand what was going on because I had honestly never heard the buildings called the "world trade center",  we had been to them many times and I have plenty of pictures in front of them but I always knew them as the "twin towers".  I didn't understand what was going on or honestly why it was a big deal.

All day we were getting updates over the intercom.  The second plane hit in science class and i really started to understand what the big deal was in history class.  Because we lived so close to NYC and so many people's parents worked there, kids were getting called out of class all day.  Parents couldn't get in touch with each other and they wanted their family all together.  After school, teachers rode the buses home with students and knocked on the door to make sure they weren't going home to an empty house.  Coverage was basically on every channel so they didn't want us watching it without someone around to explain it.

We stayed at school until 5pm until every student was at home or with a friend.  I think one of my most vivid moments of that entire day happened at dinner that night.  My mom had the news on in the other room and I remember looking over and they were showing footage of people jumped out of the towers.  It scared me so much I left the table in tears.  It was the first time I really understood HOW crazy this event was.  How desperate these people were and how chaotic their last moments were.

We later found out that we lost a few people from my little town.  We lost a father, a firefighter, and a young man who was 23.  He was where I am right now, just a few months into his first 'real' job.  He was at a great point in his life when it was all taken away.  The father had 4 children.  The firefighter just wanted to make a bit of difference in this world.  I think the thing I struggled with, as do many people in situations like this is WHY.  WHY did some people survive and others didn't.  It is something that pulls at my heart and makes me question a lot of things.  I have faith, but this shakes in a way and makes in stronger in another.

I worry about what my plan is, where I am going to be in 5, 10, 15 years.  But it also makes me believe that there is a plan.  I don't know what it is, but I know that when it's my time it's my time.  That things will work out how they are supposed to.  I know that when it's time for me to get married, have babies, break a leg, or be lonely that it is part of the plan.  I'm getting off topic here and I'm going to end this post ,  but I think every year we need to remember this day and be proud of our country and trust in our faith that it will all be ok.

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And we also owe a HUGE thank you to the men and women who responded that day and chose to take on a mission that had a higher chance of death than survival.  So many of them made the ultimate sacrifice to help people, and we are truly blessed to have people in the world like them.

i am a runner because i say i am, not because i run fast or far.

Today I found an article titled "Find Out If You're a Jogger or a Runner" by John Bingham.  Here's an excerpt (well really it's the majority of the article) along with my thoughts.  I was thinking about this when i went running today.  I am just beginning my training for my second half marathon and thinking about my first full marathon, but does that make me a runner?  I run a few times a week maybe a mile or two at the moment.  Today I went almost 3 and i was super proud.  I've reached the point where I can run a half hour and it feels good...and that feels awesome.  i will never be an ultra marathoner and my knees may always ache but today, i am a runner because i run.


I AM A RUNNER because my runs have names. I do tempo runs and threshold runs andfartlek runs. I do long, slow runs and track workouts. My runs are defined, even if my abs are not. At the moment I am sticking with simple training runs...good old fashion "build up my knees and endurance runs". 

I AM A RUNNER because my shoes are training equipment, not a fashion statement. The best shoe for me is the one that makes me a better runner. I choose the shoe that goes with my running mechanics, not my running outfit.  Absolutely.  I LOVE my asics.  You only have to run in the wrong shoes once to appreciate this. 

I AM A RUNNER because I don't have running outfits. I have technical shirts and shorts and socks. I have apparel that enhances the experience of running by allowing me to run comfortably. I can say "Coolmax" and "Gore-Tex" in the same sentence and know which does what. I am a HUGE believer in gore-tex and dri-fit (however i have never heard of coolmax...i'm assuming it keeps you cool?).   But...I do believe in looking good when i run.  Today I ran in a bright purple dri-fit shirt (a little darker then this font color actually) and some little leggings and I felt good.  The only thing that really cramped my style was my two (yes, i have to wear two) knee braces and the high schooler boy who yelled "hey sweet thang" as a i was talking myself up a hill. 

I AM A RUNNER because I know what effort feels like, and I embrace it. I know when I'm pushing the limits of my comfort and why I'm doing it. I know that heavy breathing and an accelerated heart rate--things I once avoided--are necessary if I want to be a better runner. Truth. I love that feeling when you make it to the top of the hill or when you go one more lap.  I take that back, I absolutely hate it but I love the result.  I know that next time it won't be as hard and that's progress. 

I AM A RUNNER because I value and respect my body. It will whisper to me when I've done too much. And if I choose to listen to that whisper, my body won't have to scream in pain later on. This is something I have to focus on when I run.  I have always had bad knees and will always.  it's not something that will go away.  i was 16 when i was told i'd have knee replacements and 20 when i was told that i might as well just keep running until i can't anymore and then we'll fix it. and that's my plan, lets go. but i need to ensure that i take care of myself.  stretch, know my limits, and yes...wear both big bulky sweaty ugly knee braces..every time. 

I AM A RUNNER because I am willing to lay it all on the line. I know that every finish line has the potential to lift my spirits to new highs or devastate me, yet I line up anyway.  I am still a newbie at all this finish line stuff.  at my last half marathon, my goal was simply to finish.  However, this next half, my goal is to simply beat my last time.  easy peasy :) 

I AM A RUNNER because I know that despite my best efforts, I will always want more from myself. I will always want to know my limits so that I can exceed them.  i run for me.  i don't run for you or for records or to be skinny or whatever.  i run to release tension and to be a better stronger more fabulous me. 

I AM A RUNNER because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far.

I AM A RUNNER because I say I am. And no one can tell me I'm not.




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So run on my friends. Run, jog, waddle, or walk.  You can do it...you just gotta start. Just start.