A little bit forgotten.

Yesterday, May 7, 2011, was my graduation day.  If it had gone the way I had planned, it would have been a great day.  I'd have worn a black dress with new red high heels.  I would have done my nails, gotten my hair cut, and worn my pearls.  I would have received 2 stoles for graduating magna cum laude with 2 degrees and I would have proudly walked across the stage with my fellow communication graduates.  My family, complete with mom, dad, brother, grandmother, an aunt or two, and maybe some more would have all been there and Josh would have taken a hundred pictures.

But alas, I did not walk.  No one did.  Instead I wore my t-shirt and tempos and had my mom take me to waysider for breakfast.  I wandered around the quad in my cap and gown and pretended it was a great day.  But in actuality, I was broken hearted.  I had dreamed of this day for as long as I can remember and it was ripped away from me in 20 seconds on Wednesday, April 27.  A tornado came through my beloved town and abruptly ended my college career.  I never thought it would end this way.  I wanted to go to my teachers "million dollar lecture", then the business college party, then my senior bar crawl, the kite flight.  I wanted to spend the week with my friends enjoying a few 'last' times together.  I was going to take 3 finals, then start packing up my apartment. I had time to digest my time at college was coming to end, time to say goodbye, and time to move on.

But now, I am packing up my apartment and leaving it all behind.  I didn't say goodbye to the majority of my friends and it's making the whole process a little bit harder.  I realize I am so lucky to be here and be basically unscathed by the tornado and that I might be a little selfish in my feelings, but that's how it is.  I have had no closure to college.  And I don't know if the university understands.  I have yet to hear anything from them about ending my time here, except for a small email asking for me to do a survey.  Yes, I will be back in August to walk, but no, it will not be the same.

I am a University of Alabama, magna cum laude graduate with a B.A. in video production and a B.S. in business management.  But it doesn't feel like my time here is really over.  One day it will, but until then I will be wandering around my home of 4 years, trying to find the bigger meaning behind all this.

*Disclaimer: As sad as I was that I did not walk on Saturday, I did have a great day spent with my mom and Josh.  They supported me when I insisted on prancing around the quad in all my glory, complete with my new red and houndstooth sunglasses.  I love them both very much and I feel blessed I got to spend such a beautiful day with them.